*A Note from Courdination*

Now you know I couldn’t begin a fashion blog without adding the element of #SexAndTheTwenties. I pulled my good friend NeTeah in to speak her mind from time to time and she came out swinging. I hope you all enjoy!

THE TALK

The older I get and the closer to the Dirty 30 I reach, I find myself reflecting on past relationships and dealings with those of the opposite sex and I posed the question to myself….how do you know that you are truly ready to be in a relationship? Is it when the butterflies never fade even after seeing them everyday for 6 months? Is it when you both determine that you are beyond the “talking” phase and realize that you don’t want your love interest entertaining anyone but you? Is it when you look around the room and realize everyone except you has a significant other so it’s “time to settle down”? Though there really is no right or wrong answer here, over the years I have come to realize that there is more to a relationship than consistent texting and the feeling of companionship. There are numerous factors that play into the success of a relationship such as compatibility, trust and all that jazz, but what about the major factors that many seem to overlook?

One of the major factors that people tend to overlook is the financial aspect of a relationship. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, financial struggles can stress anyone out but more so when you’re in a relationship and you’re with someone who has certain financial expectations and date night “requirements”. What are you gonna do when you promised your girl a night on the town and come to realize that the night you planned for doesn’t fall on your pay week? šŸ™ Am I saying that one should have thousands stacked up in their savings account prior to entering into a relationship? Absolutely not. SomeĀ people want to travel the world on a monthly basis with their significant other, while others are content with weekly Redbox movie & pizza nights. Point being, make sure discussions about financially-related expectations in a relationship are discussed prior to entering into one. Nothing worse than being ready to move in with your significant other, searching for mortgage rates and learning that they have a 304 credit score.

In addition to the talk about finances, many people fail to discuss other major issues that can impact relationships in the long run until it becomes too late. Things such as whether the other party wants children; career goals and aspirations; religious and political views. He’s working as a financial director meanwhile peddling mixtapes on the side because he wants to launch a rap career and you have no idea until you two are making wedding plans and he’s planning for the studio to build in the new house. Or. You’re waiting for your man to propose when in the meantime, he doesn’t even believe in marriage. Yeah, these examples are a tad bit extreme and these discussions may not ultimately result in breaking the relationship deal, but it just goes to show how vital it is to know some key things about your potential mate ahead of time so that there are no extreme surprises down the road when you guys decide that you’re ready to move on to the next level.

The moral of the story: take the time to get to know one another. Their true self, not the representative that is typically present for the first few months of meeting one another. Talk about your life’s successes and your failures. Talk about your dreams. Learn more about the other party than their favorite food and major turn-ons/offs and what they currently do for a living. I can guarantee if people took the time to truly sit down and TALK in order to get to know one another, there would be far more successful relationships and marriages than there are failed ones. So no, there’s no magical checklist to determine that you’re ready to be in a relationship, however make sure that your desires and expectations are discussed prior to assigning those titles.

*hops off soapbox*

Until next time…

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